Bill of American International Rights
Lone Am July 7th, 2007
1) Right to pre-emptive attack - The right to attack any nation, assassinate any individual and invade any country if it shows a possibility [however remote] to act against the national interests of America. This right shall not be tried against nations where an attempt to do so would make America face mushroom clouds and unspecified destruction to the American being (viz. Russia and China).
- Where Used - The 2003 Invasion of Iraq by US led Coalition Forces
2) Right to force governments to act in US interests - Any nation and/or government which does not comply to the demands of the American nation shall face sanctions, organised coups, assassination of political leaders and if all else fails, military intervention shall be used to conduct a ‘regime change’. In case the country is a nuclear power, diplomatic means shall be used and if it fails, a Public Relations Smear Campaign (PRSC) attack against that country shall be followed.
- Where Used - The 1956 seize of Egypt by US and its allies during Suez Canal Crisis; The US war with Vietnam in the 1960s and 70s.
3) Right to illegally abduct and torture foreign nationals - American agencies including the CIA are hereby authorised to abduct, detain and torture a foreign national on any foreign country irrespective of whether a nation is democratic or not. The American agencies are at liberty to ignore the national laws in foreign countries as long as they do not face detection or arrest in the foreign country concerned.
- Where Used - The illegal abduction and torture of Egyptian gentleman Osama Nasr Mostafa Hassan in Italy by US’ CIA in 2004.
4) Right to humiliate, rape and murder foreigners - The American armed forces have the right to commit rape, acts of humiliation and murder foreign nationals irrespective of race, colour, religion, sexual orientation, political beliefs, age and gender; in countries under American imperialism either politically, militarily or economically. The right hereby provides absolute legal immunity if detection can be avoided and partial legal immunity if a foreign independent news agency brings the practise of this right into international attention.
- Where Used - Regular gang rapes and murders of young Iraqi girls by US forces in Iraq.
5) Right to immunity from laws outside America - American citizens are hereby declared immune to national laws in countries outside of the United States irrespective of the crime committed. The offenders shall be handed over to the American embassy to be brought back to America to face light sentences or freed as the court deems fit, irrespective of the nature and seriousness of the offence.
- Where used - Paedophile sex tourists soliciting 6 - 12 year olds for sex in Cambodia, Philippines, Japan, etc.
On this day, the 7th of July 2007, we the people of the United States of America declare this exclusive and inalienable rights to the nation. We will strive to uphold and use these rights for the benefit of the American interests and pleasure; except in sovereign and powerful independent countries where these rights are trashed and national laws applied against the American wish. The Bill of American International Rights shall be reviewed, updated and modified in subsequent amendments as per the demands of time and circumstances. For God, for America and for Fox News!
Possibly Related posts:
Loading ...
Nice blog. Enjoyed reading it !
Tony
“2) Right to force governments to act in US interests… The 1956 seize of Egypt by US and its allies during Suez Canal Crisis; The US war with Vietnam in the 1960s and 70s.”
Most governments work hard to have other countries do what they want. The US is simply more effective at this than most. As for your example of Vietnam, weren’t the French there first? And didn’t the Russians supply the North Vietnamese? According to Wikipedia article on the Suez Crisis, it “was a military attack on Egypt by Britain, France, and Israel” and not by the United States. If you have any supportable information to the contrary, you may edit Wikipedia.
“3) Right to illegally abduct and torture foreign nationals” Don’t I recall Russian agents killing a Chechen in the middle east? Yes, it was Zelimkhan Yandarbiyev in Qatar.
“4) Right to humiliate, rape and murder foreigners … Where Used - Regular gang rapes and murders of young Iraqi girls by US forces in Iraq.”
I follow the news closely and “regular” in your example is an exaggeration. There have been some cases of plain murder, but at least some of those have been prosecuted. How many car bombers who have intentionally killed civilians in groups up to 100 at a time have been prosecuted?
“5) Right to immunity from laws outside America … Where used - Paedophile sex tourists soliciting 6 - 12 year olds for sex in Cambodia, Philippines, Japan, etc.”
America has a large population so there are going to be a few horrible people. In America’s case there is tough local enforcement and they often have the money to travel abroad. Germany, Japan, and the UK have the same issue with sex tourists. It is against US law to travel abroad for sex with a child and there are people who have been prosecuted with with this law. More would be prosecuted if local authorities in those countries were not lax — if not complicit — to this activity.
HAHA. Nice, very good satire. I long for the day when these American terrorists will be brought to justice. The world is not they playground. They must learn to cooperate with others and respect their laws, or face extinction.
totally brutal…Upon waking up to empire contrary to the peace-loving American ethics indoctrinated during school, does this force the victim to decide to shop at Wal-Mart in an effort to save their own individualism.
I am not sure whether these laws actually exist or not as I am not American (yah!), but I can definitely imagine that these laws could exist, passed by a group of unsophisticated, arrogant, foolishly religious, irrational, and uncultured government officials who disrespect the laws and cultures of other nations, if they actually know any that is.