Osama As The US President
Aby December 9th, 2008
Here are some changes that will take place in United States, if Osama Bin Laden were to become the President of United States.
- There will no longer be a terrorist threat to the United States, as terrorism will be declared legal
- No nation will dare to mess with the most ruthless, cunning and murderous American president that ever existed
- Americans will be allowed to carry guns and even automatic rifles which will suit their gun culture very well
- Cosmetic surgery industry will be hit hard as women will be veiled and and no longer be able to show their bodies
- MTV will have spiritual shows where men and women are being flogged or stoned to death for adultery
- American men will be free of the threat of women presidents
- Jew hating American racists like the KKK will be trained and sent to Palestine as suicide bombers
- There will be much less burden on the criminal justice system once Islamic laws come into play.
- The murderers of Muslims will be executed and the others will be trained in CIA and Delta Force
- The rape victims will require four witnesses or the rapist will be freed. Even if they manage to get four witnesses, the rapist will be freed on grounds of insanity, as no sane man would rape a woman in front of four witnesses.
- Thieves and shoplifters will have their hands cut off and freed
- Wife beaters will be freed as Islamic laws allow wife beatings and the Quran recommends it
- Pedophiles will be freed as sex with 9 year old kids will be an act of sunnah (prophetic divinity)
- American troops overseas will be withdrawn and moved to Guantanamo bay.
- All parties will be banned in United States, including music, dancing and entertainment
- Divorce rates will crumple as a man will be able to keep four wives and an unlimited number of slave girls.
- All medical hospitals will be stocked with cardamom and camel urine, no other medicines required
- Slavery will be re-introduced and the government can earn good revenue by taxing sale of women in slave markets.
Finally the religion of peace will bring harmony and prosperity to the whole of America. Insha allah!
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I am going to reply about each point one by one: Although the above post looks like a Joke but still needs some direction.
1. If USA stop interfering with matters of others and keep eye on itself, than America will be free of terrorism threats. Also Americans are slaves of Jews, this is one of the biggest problems, and most of the Presidents of USA were assassinated by JEWS
2. America already had two ruthless, cunning and murderous president that are Bush and his father
3. Americans already carry this sort of weapons, recently some mad people were arrested which wanted to assassinate Obama
4. I don’t know if Americans like there mothers and sisters to walk unclothed on streets, if that is the case than Americans are still living in Stone Age where people did not have cloths to wear. Go back to history and you will find that your grand parents were like monkeys, it is the Islamic culture which gave clothes to you naked people
5. American women’s get themselves screwed where well before marriage on the occasions of dates, a women makes 7 to 9 dates after which she gets married, what a shame
6. No chance of Women American president in USA at present as well because she will have affairs with presidents of almost every country
7. The first person who made a suicide attack was a Jew, go check history first
8. Criminal Justice system in USA is to protect high class and to punish low class, in Islamic laws there is no distinction, see in Saudi Arabia, there are very low crimes, lowest in the world, whereas highest crime rates in USA
9. Well at present Murderers of Muslims are trained in CIA and Delta at present
10. I don’t think there is any concept of rape in USA society, as every women gets here self raped a number of times before she actually gets married, may be rape by force is not allowed in USA, but how do we know it was done by force, women’s in America make money on it, first they get themselves raped and than call on Police
11. What? Do you want to give you sisters to these thieves and shoplifters?
12. Islam does not allow wife beatings
13. Pedophiles are at greatest rate in America? Your Hollywood movies show that, it has nothing to do with Islam
14. That’s right
15. That’s right
16. There are a lot of divorced women’s in USA which are leaving a life of bitch
17. All medicine research and knowledge was gained by Muslim scientists, see history first, you people are stealers of the knowledge from Muslims, only Muslim scientists who discovered physics, chemistry and other sciences, in that time you people were nothing more than mad dogs. This is the knowledge of Muslim scientists that the world is standing on.
18. White men in America till today slaves Black men, you people forget your deeds, Islam did not say to make slaves but to free slaves from others by buying them, correct you history knowledge
@History
Your name is ironic in that your history is incorrect,very outdated and one sided.
“If USA stop interfering with matters of others and keep eye on itself, than America will be free of terrorism threats”-I couldn’t agree with you more. But this is simple logic in my opinion. Still, you are more intelligent than most Americans.
“Also Americans are slaves of Jews, this is one of the biggest problems, and most of the Presidents of USA were assassinated by JEWS”-this is one of the most in accurate things i’ve ever heard. Their is no evidence of this. Don’t blame America’s problems on the Jews, blame them on America(haha)
“America already had two ruthless, cunning and murderous president that are Bush and his father”- Honestly, why stop there? Most of them were pretty ruthless and criminal, but which politicians aren’t? I think this is a problem in many countries…
“American women’s get themselves screwed where well before marriage on the occasions of dates, a women makes 7 to 9 dates after which she gets married, what a shame”-actually, I think the average is usually about a year of dating before marriage, but atleast women in America are equal and have say in affairs much unlike many muslim nations(no disrespect, i know it is just a cultural difference, but in my opinion, equality is better)
“No chance of Women American president in USA at present as well because she will have affairs with presidents of almost every country” - As an American, I would actually say that their is a very good chance that we wil have a female president within the next 16 years.
“Criminal Justice system in USA is to protect high class and to punish low class, in Islamic laws there is no distinction, see in Saudi Arabia, there are very low crimes, lowest in the world, whereas highest crime rates in USA”- True, The American system does protect the rich more often than not.
“I don’t think there is any concept of rape in USA society, as every women gets here self raped a number of times before she actually gets married, may be rape by force is not allowed in USA, but how do we know it was done by force, women’s in America make money on it, first they get themselves raped and than call on Police”- Hahaha, I will not debate with you any further. You are obviously a misinformed,ignorant, nationalist, sexist, racist, idiot who just made a full of himself by saying something as stupid as this. Thanks for making it easy for me. You had some good points until this remarke, in which you lost all credibility.
“Women get themselves raped.” This is an accusation that pervades even American culture. I resent it because as an American woman, I know what it’s like to be in a culture where women are constantly bombarded with the message tha tshe must be in a relationship to have a sense of self-worth, and the current culture of young women are expected to “put out” and have sex or else she won’t get a boyfriend (thereby threatening her self-worth and making the prospect of marriage impossible.) Furthermore, even if she is on a date and doesn’t want to have sex, many men will subtly force to her to do so by urging quietly “Come on, it’s alright,” and then physically overpowering her. At this point the woman has already begun to form some emotional investment in the man by going on a date with him and hoping he will come to love her, so she doesn’t feel like it would be appropriate to scream “rape!” She’s just quietly overpowered and disrespected. I’ve tried to relay this experience to others, but those of the older generation have only one thing to say: “Wait until marriage to have sex.” The sad thing is that in America, that’s not an option (except maybe in a few good small towns, maybe..?) because if you don’t put out, you don’t stand a chance at getting to the point of having someone propose to you. And how is it that women are blamed for being raped when they don’t have the physical strength to resist a man within the moment? Are they blamed for being in the situation at all? Because in the situation I’m describing, the woman just wanted a date, for goodness sake, and she ends up quietly overpowered. I know what it’s like. First the woman tries to politely decline, because she’s still wanting his affection (just not sex), then she tries to make herself more clear and firm, and then she feels like she wants to scream but is to embarassed to. The next thing she knows, she’s alone and hoping that she’s not pregnant.
Check this out
http://www.abytheliberal.com/internationalism/are-americans-stupid-statistics-and-research-data
A true picture of Americans
Truth is not spoken for credibility, but for information and awareness of others living in lies
@Mike
You did not understand my point number 10, i meant to say if a women says she has been raped than it will be considered as a rape, in Islam a man and women cannot have sex relation before marriage. Reply of Erica is more clear and that is what i was trying to say.
Im sorry history, i still dont understand. mind elaborating?
Dear mike
U never understand, because u never had a civilisation.
U know, u are only an infant, no one tought u what is morality.
Sorry, I dont know enough english, after all english is a infant itself
@Mike
Well what would you say now, president of USA gets a shoe at his face, not one both of the shoes, what a shame for any person. That’s why i said USA must stop interferring with matters of other countries, the result is clear today, every muslim country is against policies of USA, this is becuase of interference of USA with others.
All muslims would be proud!
Hamza of U.A.E.–
I don’t think you know enough about civilization to speak of/about it.
What is morality, in your less-than-humble opinion?
History–
It is inappropriate to attribute the actions of one man to the entire nation. I mean, if I were to use your logic, it would make sense to attribute the Pakistani dictators — Musharraf, for example — and their actions to the nation at large. That is, does Pakistan not need civilian judges, whom he suspended? What about the Constitution, which he suspended in the interest of imposing martial law.
I disagree with the interventionist policy that is prevalent in the (outgoing) Bush administration; it runs contrary to the principle of isolationism at America’s inception. But most Americans disapprove of the man. He’s hated throughout the world for a variety of reasons, most of which are valid. But intervention is not always a bad thing–just like it isn’t always a good thing.
I hope Obama can at least undo some of the damage done by Bush.
Besides, I think the article was intended to be satire, not to be taken literally or in your case, emotionally. It is, in my opinion, quite hilarious as it attacks various U.S. actions and substitutes them for equally disgusting actions–kind of symbolizing inevitably the imperfect world.
Hans Blik talks about the moment Dick Cheney threatened to discredit him and Mohamed El-Baradei over Weapons Inspections in Iraq
http://waronyou.com/forums/index.php?topic=4710.msg10389;topicseen#new
http://vidzking.com/Tags/Idiot-runs-police-straight-police-station
@Ratnadeep
Hindus are brain washed that is why they ask help from statues of animals made from their own hands. Hindus have no match to Muslims, they are coward people.
Christians believe in God like we do, Jesus is there Prophet, we believe on Jesus as well but not as son of God but as Prophet of God, they are brave people.
World don’t hate Muslims because they are afraid of them, because their religion is the most clean, because Muslims get united on one call, Muslims don’t care in which country a Muslim is living and come for help, Muslims truly believe in God and can die for its name, Islam is the ultimate religion, the world is scared from the rate it is increasing, the world is afraid that one day Islam will be all over the world.
@Amy
What ever Musharaf did was from Bush policy, US policy is to keep dictator ship in Pakistan and that is why. You can see still our country is unable to make decisions on its own, US policy is still here. What ever Musharaf did was to save Pakistan because he did not wanted to see Pakistan like Afghanistan bombarded with US
@ History ,
Why today we see problems all over the world connected primarily to Islam . In other religions people devout lot of time to education , development , science , sports , entertainment , music , democratic values , civilised behaviour . Why is that muslims are bogged down only by religion & injecting the venom of jihad all over the world. Why there is no peace and only unrest in Islamic world.
mr.history stop living in history. and ashok had a good point. mr. mike is 100% true
I believe Amy had a good point. Many people don’t like Bush, overseas and here in America, but what he has messed up cannot be reversed. We just have to hope that Obama can fix what he has done wrong. History, just because Bush is our president doesn’t mean that everyone in the U.S. likes him or agrees with what he does.
The comments by the Pakistani(s) here reflect the typical mullah arrogance and dishonesty, so common to their breed. For all their big talk, none of their countries has anything that even closely resembles an economy. All they can do is dig, and that too with American and European technology.
This article was not completely ’satire’, as some people seem to think. Visit http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/
@ History
I dont mr. or ms history but you are just hell
spreading terrorism all over the world
bloody idiot, wat your terrorist has done in mumbai
terror attack, is your religion permits to kill innocent people who had no weapons, whole world knows who is spreading terrorism in the world in India, we are trying to solve all problems peacefully, but your bloody idiot government is not even accepting their crimes, under military pressure.
your own media has proven that kasab & other terrorist were from pakistan still your govt is not taking action against mother / father of these terrorist staying in pakistan soil.
& you are here teaching us your religion, go to hell.
Eh, well, now this is a fact, and as been so for a week or so.
Thank all your black people out there.
Well i just read what u all have been talking about
i dont think it was really low of someone to make such a stupid website given above to mislead ppl about Islam. Islam rulled world for years and those were most peacefull years of earth.ppl were allowed to live as per there religous belives and they had equal rights as to a muslim. i have heared lot about Islam allowing wife beating??? are u crazy..islam gives woman protection..Islam prohibts men from beating woman since it is very low and cowardly act…and if ne one does beat his wife he is commiting sin…
Jihad means to strugle…it can be against poverty, to remove illetracy, to deveolp country..i read some one called jihad a venom?? jihad against poverty is a venom?????
Go and read the history , who have worked more for scince and art ?? modren scince is continuity of scince which muslims give to the world…i can take names after names to tell you about what muslims have done for art and scince..
Islam prohibts voilence and supports justice..in case if muslim is guilty and a non muslim is innocent..islam ask to penalise muslim dosen’t mater if he or she is muslim..
Dear brothers dont read just one qoutation and make ur mind about something..try to read whole chapter and try to understand background of what and when it was said in Quran then make ur decision..most things ppl qoute are out of context it is just like if i m talking to some one and one hears just one sentence “you will die” but infact i was telling some one “doctor told me you will die if u dont take meds”
I find the last sentence very amusing “Finally the religion of peace will bring harmony and prosperity to the whole of America” That’s too much “religion of peace” right behind christianity.
I have nothing against MOST of their beliefs (I was bought up christian too) but unfortunately religion always gets in the way of their actual beliefs.
First of all, Osama bin Laden represents his views and not the views of the Arab world. If he was to become president then America would have the most to gain in the following:
No more obesity
God fearing Christian hypocrites
An employee based military, people would actually fight cause they want to, non of this PTS b.s.
Dramatic reduction in teen pregnancy
Less stupid music videos/movies
Fully heterosexual
No racism
I have never ever seen such biased, incorrect and rude comments on any religion in my life.
who ever made these comments obviously did not fact check them and wrote these out of rage and stupidity.
some funny shit, hehehe hey cheers to the composer of the list “if Osama became US president”….. a definite list. What people fail to see is that cultures in non-muslim domain have evolved, whereas No disrespect to Islam, but many provisions within Islam are very outdated for the current day n age, and the problem is, that it CANNOT be changed.
But I strongly believe that arguments over religion are worthless! We have to rise above the limitations of language. Osama has shown great shame and disregard of the muslim people, it is what the Hindus call karma, you are bound by what you amplify
and to carry on a personal agenda by interpreting Quranic provisions to his own means, has lead to just a paranoia against Islam at present. Very unfortunate.
Speaking of injustices…look at history (not the dude above commenting) it is a cycle we live in. It is the NATURE OF OUR EXISTENCE…. we get conditioned, and attached to several notions- good/bad whereas we forget our destiny- we are born to die. Hence, the level of importance placed towards the duration of how we live life is that which is conflicting and paralysing minds, efforts and creating bias.
Don’t you already have one? Barrack Osama Hussein…
aah OBAMA…ma bad man!
But his policies make me wonder, whats next for people of USA…..civil war again? on religious grounds? mighty possible under this guys regime. He is from other end of Abhrahmic religion and USA society was dominantly build on christian beliefs.
Ya I know I dont sound good. But I cant stop wondering. His policies have changed in middle east, Israel, India and China.
He loves Chinese and Gulf….(for oil and cheap labour)
And of course loves Pakistan for them helping in war against Al Qaeda…..
So scenario is such that can fit in Osama’s ideology.
@ Rehan Javed from Pakistan…
how can Islam be peaceful….err weren’t you part of India few decades ago?
Do you think there was Islam in Indian Subcontinent until 1300 AD?
Your ancestors were forcibly converted or were taxed for not following Islam under their rule by invasion.
Does that sound peaceful to you?
I am not against any religion, but its the fact I am showing….Islam has spread across central asia, persia, Indian subcontinent through force and power. It was by no means peaceful…
Good post. It uses sarcastic jokes to pinpoint the failures of both the American culture and the Islamic faith.
This post is probably a little late,but.. what the hell..
As I read this I understood the humour factor to the post but at the same time I felt there were definite… flaws, for lack of better word.
To ‘history’ I understand that you’re Muslim, in fact I’m Muslim too. but, your arguments didn’t make sense and it frustrated me that I even had to read it. One of the reasons I replied is becase I truly don’t want you to be the only Muslim source on this post - don’t want people to get the wrong idea, or generalize an entire people.
I wish I could have a conversation with everyone here, but…. I’m supposed to be finishing an essay for school right now… so I’ll move onto a few points.
First of all, TERRORISM is completely “haram” (against Islamic law). There are verses in the Qur’an and Hadith that clearly say that acts of terrorism is pretty much a one way ticket to Hell. In fact, there is a Hadith by the Prophet (PBUH) that says if you kill one believer it’s as though you killed all of humanity. And also suicide is an unforgivable sin, so this whole ’suicide bombing’ thing, confuses even me….
When history said “women get themselves raped” I couldn’t decide whether to laugh it was so ridiculous or cry because it’s sad that someone even thought that? But, on another note, I do belive that the media and Western world is very over sexualized, and its culturally accepted. The worst thing about it all is that when newly arrived immigrants (especially those high school boys) come here they’re like kids in a candy shop. All of a sudden there’s women everywhere for them to stare at…..
I’d like to stress that one of the reasons we percieve problems within some Muslim nations is that people mix their religion with their culture. And the end result sometimes isn’t the greatest, but we need to learn to distinguish between the beliefs.
Some of you have called Islam ‘outdated’ but it suits me just fine, I can’t begin to decribe the relationship that I have with Islam. I can seriously say that if I wasn’t Muslim… I’d probably be screwed up.
Lastly, I think we just need to all exercise patience with others and take he time to learn, there’s always something you don’t know.
……………..now about that essay…..
Its hard to believe but i think if Osama is the USA President then the world could become safer place to live as he would lose his reasons for spreading hatred against USA and West
@all who oppose Islam
notice aby has said America under Osama bin laden and not America under Islam because Osama Bin Laden does not represent muslims or Islam.
LOL. The funny thing is that the Muslims I’ve met say the Christian and Islamic God is one and the same. However, Nofal is correct. Osama Bin Laden does not represent Islam. Amusing satire, Aby, even if few commentors seem to have viewed it in such a way.
Do you really think so? Osama Bin Laden doesn’t have to spread hatred for USA or ‘the West’. He simply cashes in on popular sentiments that are already there. Wealthy and an exceptionally tall man, Osama had a classic Genghiz Khan complex. What better way gain support of his people than fight for their causes? In 1970s and 80s, the popular Arab sentiment was Russophobia, so he fought against the Soviets (with American logistics and support, no less). In 1990s, Russia was no longer a threat, so he aligned himself to the new popular sentiment in the Arab world, anti-Americanism. Deep down, Osama probably appreciates America for helping him turn from a ‘nobody’ businessman to one of the most powerful man in the world.
Contrary to popular American beliefs, Osama bin Laden doesn’t harbour anything against ‘the west’. His target is exclusively United States and countries closely allied with the US. In fact, the Al Qaeda is quite neutral to western countries who keep themselves neutral to US politics.
Sometimes you guys forget that there is an Osama in almost every of you. The Osama that feels proud in your nation’s ‘might’ when innocent civilians in third world countries get their lives bombed out of them. You sit in front of your TV and watch the carnage while you munch munchies and think, “Gee, we are the #1, no one can beat us!”. The only difference between Osama and a typical American is that Osama had the money and the brains.
http://www.pi-news.org/2010/01/dubai-british-woman-raped-and-arrested/ ( Dubai: British woman raped and arrested ) I guess this is one of the reasons there are so “little” rapes in islamic countryes. As for how respectful the followers of islam are to other religions http://www.faithfreedom.org/islam/hanged-being-christian-iran , http://www.faithfreedom.org/islam/iraq-christian-buildings-attacked-0 . And also http://www.faithfreedom.org/content/afghan-warden-imprisoning-abused-women-thats-islam and let us not forget honor killings ( http://www.faithfreedom.org/islam/horror-saga-gruesome-islamic-honor-killings )
@ Areishia
You must have lots of spare hours to search on web and come up with these sites pages.
Can i please ask you to search websites about Christians and i suggest you start with the recent Bosnian massacre of moslims by Sarbian Christians, then go to Arab woman murder in German Court by a Christian and then keep on going…………………
@History
What the hell is self rape? You’re disgusting. I hope the majority of Muslims do not think the way you do.
Clintville.. a great number of Muslims think just like that, surprised?
David.. Genocides have been committed by atheists as well, so by your logic those without religion can be lumped in with them, just as Christians can be lumped in with the serbs.
History: Having met lots of moslems in my life i am absolutely certain that your thinking is only shared/agreed by a small minority of moslms.
Dela: It’s the same way American right wing Christians views are shared/agreed my a very small minority of Christains in America.