Aby The Liberal

Captain Sasha June 3rd, 2011

I read an article in USA Today, that talked about how American tourists are singled out and harassed overseas. Yet another one of those  “we are victims of the world’s hate and jealousy” pieces that the US public seems to be rather fond of. The article talks of how American tourists are harassed, insulted and even spat on in Europe, just because they are American (and no, you weren’t spat at because you wore that “America! Fuck yeah!” t-shirt).

My interest was piqued by the last paragraph of the article that tells of the experience of a US TV star trying to pick up two girls at a bar. The excerpt:

“Man, it was bad,” says the Rat Pack-y star of Swingers. “These girls saw us and were kind of flirting, and they kept asking us if we were American. Finally we said, ‘Yes,’ and they just took off.

“One girl turns and says, ‘We were hoping you were Canadian.’ Canadian? Since when was it cooler to be Canadian?“

 

Most Americans would have missed the irony in the last sentence, but with attitudes like this, it is no wonder these people have problems in Europe. Someone needs to educate these people that wearing your “We are the coolest” mindset isn’t going to help you score brownie points in Europe. Especially since Europeans do not watch as much American films and TV as you’d like to think and their idea of who is cool is based entirely on merit, rather than TV tropes. Unless you get that in your heads, Canadians will always be cooler in Europe.

If you believe that you are the coolest one around because you are American - forget travelling to Europe. Try India or the Philippines, countries where people believe that Americans are the gods of coolness. The rest can enjoy their travels in Europe; I am sure your travel experiences will be pleasant, interesting and enlightening. I haven’t personally known any American who got taken to task for their nationality anyway.

This is a guest post sent by a reader, Eugenia Stergiou from Athens, Greece. Post has been edited by Captain Sasha for better grammatical clarity and comprehension.

• America , Europe , Sarcasm , Travels
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Captain Sasha May 4th, 2011

I often had Americans invite me to travel to the United States, so that they can give me a ‘better’ experience of their country than my past travels. While they meant it in good faith, their advice is one I’d prefer to avoid, considering  the pitfalls of travelling to America as an ordinary tourist (as opposed to travelling to the US on diplomatic/official positions).

A cartoon on US Customs and Border Protection

According to the US travel website discoveramerica.com, “Travelling to the US offers experiences like nowhere else on earth.”, one of the most honest taglines that Americans ever came up with. Nowever else on earth would you have a travel experience as undignified, unpleasant and soul crushing as in United States. Right from the application for visa process to stepping on the United States soil, the message runs clear, “If you are not an American, you are scum.”

If you are a tourist visa applicant from a country that isn’t in the United States Visa Waiver Program, the visa process to the United States is an out-and-out nightmare. You’ll have to jump through hoops to submit your application, after which you’d encounter unpleasant interviews (~ interrogations) from rude American consular officials, just to have a 50% shot at getting the visa. Compare that to the visa process for Russia (which Americans complain is the toughest) where all you have to do is get all your papers right and pay the required fee to have the visa mailed to you in less than a month.

If you think getting a US tourist visa is the end of it, wake up to the horror known as US Customs and Border Protection. Once you’ve managed to survive the epic queues, you’ll have to face the relentless interrogation from the thin lipped border control guards, sometimes with a gun pointed at you. The US Border Control is also where you are removed of any misconception that racism is no longer alive in America. In the Border Control people, you get to see what Americans are like when the laws no longer hold them back from their racist impulses. This is especially true if you are a Slav, Asian, South American or African.

Once you have (miraculously) landed in territorial America, your travel experiences depend on your gender, ethnicity, nationality, looks, your accent, grasp of English and most importantly, where you travel and where you stay. If you are from a country what Americans call “the third world”, be prepared to be treated as a third class human being, unless you happen to be rich or good looking (or both). If you are a French or Russian, you’d have to encounter scathing remarks and stereotypes about your country, your politics and your people.

Considering all these pitfalls, it would be smarter to avoid travelling to the United States and choose alternative destinations. The Times Online provides a short review of some alternate holiday destinations that you might choose, that offer you a more pleasant travel experience. If you are travelling to Tahiti or the Americas and want to avoid a transit of the United States, check this page from Wikitravels. If you are an American and think I am too cynical, check the New York Times blog on how your travel policies lost US the bid for 2016 Summer Olympics.

• America , Humanity , Travels , World Culture
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